Let’s be honest here, there is something to look forward to when a film is headlined by Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie and one is prepared to forgive the script in exchange for the eye candy. However, this adaption of The Tourist directed by Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck (The Lives of Others), manages to disappoint.

The film opens in Paris as we follow Elise Clifton-Ward (Angelina Jolie) making her escape, from whom we are not quite sure, as she heads off to the Gare de Lyon, all dressed in cream with a sassy red sash around her waspish waist. The fact that the other Parisians are bathed in black makes for a rather disconcertingly conspicuous getaway outfit.

But hey, I digress. Remember it’s Jolie and heads turn as she wafts like a stick insect through the train and finally settles on her prey, the rather dour looking Frank Tupelo (Johnny Depp) who, we discover, is a maths teacher from Wisconsin. Oh double yawn, the question has to be asked, ‘Why?’

But, I digress again. This is a thriller/comedy and would have succeeded in the latter if both leads had not taken their roles so seriously. The train makes its way to Venice and once they are both ensconced in the famous Hotel Danieli, the question must be asked, ‘How?’ Well, this is a caper and Jolie’s wardrobe is provided enroute by her mysterious lover and Depp’s? Well we know he likes the dishevelled look in ‘real’ life, so he’s okay too.

In a ballroom scene, Jolie is unmistakably made up to look like Sophia Loren and heads turn as she wafts through the crowd. It is, after all, a bit of a stretch, because as beautiful as she is, Jolie is NOT a national treasure. But I digress again. We are taken on a roller-coaster ride through the canals of Venice with Jolie at the helm, chases over rickety Italian tiled rooftops and plenty of shoot-ups which are all pretty formulaic.

The dialogue is actually quite clever at times, but the mannered performances somehow distract one from this. One of the better lines is when Depp looks at Jolie and says, ‘You are the least down-to-earth person I have ever met’. Glorious!

The plot is incredulous as are the scene set-ups. The film is an eye-candy experience, but in this case, credit is given for the locations which are simply splendid and enough to make you want to buy a ticket to Venice ASAP. I came away feeling a bit letdown by the leads, but happy to have been taken on a ride through Venice, via John Seale’s vision. He has to be one of the finest cinematographers around.

// SALT

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