To review or not to review, that is the question. Whether tis nobler to let the filmmaker suffer the slings and arrows of outraged audiences or to point out the sea of troubles and by naming them, condemn then. Well, you get the idea.

Jake Kasdan’s (Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story) Sex Tape is really so bad that you sort of feel guilty about your desire for guilty pleasure. Or what you thought would be a guilty pleasure but turns out to be an embarrassment for reviewers and audiences alike. It is a one idea movie and not exactly a high concept at that.

Annie (Cameron Diaz - The Counselor - at 42 showing us the astonishing anti-ageing effects of a pampered life and a perfect diet and exercise regime) is married to Jay (journeyman comic actor and vapid nice guy Jason Segel – The Muppets). Unsurprisingly, it is Cameron’s body more than his is that is the focus of the camera’s leer. Where did she find that pair of red panties so minuscule? In her handkerchief drawer presumably. They are a white middle class suburban couple who regret the routinasation of their marital sex. Cue short montage of saucy flashbacks where the college-aged couple (who still look middle aged but never mind) go at the swinging-from-the-chandeliers style sex marathons that are everyone’s right in a free country god damnit. They hit upon the fairly stupid idea of filming themselves having a makeup session when the kids are away. Not until Klutsy hubbie fails to delete said computer file does it become a sex tape that, of course, goes viral.

The idea of the embarrassment that this would cause and the lengths to which they will go to destroy any copies forms the spine of this wobbly effort. There’s something jaw-dropping about the film’s choices at every turn. For example, the attempt to play this as a sort of PG-level family film by taking out the real raunch.

Then at one point Jack Black (King Kong) turns up (bad sign) as a successful internet pornographer who regales them with how many sex sites he runs. (When the kids get this on DVD there is a well assembled catalogue of unsuitable sites for them to visit). Even more unbelievably, Black sits the no-brain couple down and proceeds to give them some unsolicited marriage guidance. Taking marriage tips from this guy is like taking navigation tips from the captain of the Titanic but that’s the whole film in a nutshell.

One could go on but what’s the point? Let’s keep it simple; avoid.

// JULIAN WOOD

Previewed at Events Cinemas, George Street, Sydney on 18 July 2014