In a peculiar space where Jackass, TV's Mythbusters and daytime soap intersect, you'll find this cut-rate Twister knock-off, Into The Storm.

It's the kind of film populated with actors you kind of know whose primary reason for being here is that they remind you of someone else. People like Bradley Cooper lookalike Richard Armitage (The Hobbit), Richard Dreyfuss's scruffy brother Matt Walsh (Ted) or Sandra Bullock's younger sister Sarah Wayne Callies (The Walking Dead). It's the kind of film that doesn't really care who its stars are, for their only purpose is to stand in front of big, scary special effects and shout headlines to one another. Frankly, just about anyone could do that.

For the star of Into The Storm is, unquestionably and unsurprisingly, the storm itself. But in a world of excess, director Steven Quale gives us dozens of the things, many of which merge into one super-tornado that makes Katrina look like a small fuss in a digital teacup. Particularly when it unbelievably catches fire (seriously?!). The poster says everything you need to know about this film for the story, such as it is, is barely visible behind the slightly visible cut-outs who occasionally pop out from behind the raging storm. Not that it matters. Narrative, character, theme, purpose – this is not what you came here for.

You came for a seat-rattling ride into the middle of a tornado and that's exactly what Quale (Final Destination 5) and his screenwriter John Swetnam (Step Up All In) deliver. It's why you get cringe-worthy expositional dialogue with lines like 'We gotta go!', 'Let's go!!', 'What was that?!', 'Oh my God!' and 'Run!' alternately barked, shouted, screamed or whispered. These people aren't here to give any kind of insight into the human condition, they're here to link one cranking super-cell of mayhem to the next.

Into The Storm is also the kind of film that makes you ask the question you thought you'd never ask – why wasn't this shot in 3D? Given the amount of digital carnage flying all over the screen (trees, cars, people, houses, buses and in one spectacular scene, jet airliners), it should have been flying all over the audience as well. In 3D. Not that you'll care come the final reel (which comes with merciful speed, 89 minutes after the first puff of wind). Lacking any discernible wit or sense of self-unimportance, this is too dumb to be interesting, too serious to be fun. And without the tension of Helen Hunt and Bill Paxton, it achieves then impossible and makes Twister seem like a work of great art.

// COLIN FRASER

Previewed at Events Cinemas, George St, Sydney on 1 September 2014