“Sometimes you go with the tide, it’s all you can do.”

Were ever the words ‘vanity project’ writ so large? When a writer / director goes on to star in her own project, then casts her husband as co-lead, the man with whom she produced the film, you have to wonder. Aloud. Such is By The Sea, Angelina Jolie Pitt’s third feature which, for the record, also has at least one of their kids in the crew. The not unreasonable concern that Hollywood’s power-couple might be just a tad too close to the story, leaving no room for anyone to demand a re-write or re-shoot, plays out. The words ‘unholy mess of a’ precede ‘vanity project’.

Invoking the spirit of the French new wave, By The Sea follows a writer and his wife to a hamlet on the French coast where he attempts to regain his mojo, while she hopes to regain her wits. It’s the early 1970’s and Vanessa (Jolie Pitt - Maleficent) manages her deep unhappiness through a steady diet of pills while Roland (Pitt - Fury) manages his creativity through alcohol served up by the local bar-keep (Niels Arestrup - A Prophet). When a younger couple (Mélanie Laurent - Beginners - and Melville Poupaud - Laurence Anyways) move into the hotel room next door, Vanessa finds some purpose by spying on the newly-weds. Roland finds a way to reconnect with his distant wife by joining in.

So far so French. At least, a distorted view of what French arthouse movies of the New Wave, as written by Patricia Highsmith, could be like if made today by Americans who know better. And therein the problem. For if By The Sea is anything (though in truth it isn’t much at all), it is a vainglorious attempt to reimagine golden years where creative couples bicker over tall drinks wearing wide hats in the Mediterranean sunshine. Parody? No such luck.

This is an astonishingly dreary and pointless film which only serves to underline how suffocating it is to spend nearly two hours in their unyielding company. As Roland and Vanessa look to extract another’s happiness to save their failing marriage, you can’t help but reflect on the state of the Pitt’s own relationship mostly because it is so difficult to get beyond the actors and find their characters. Their over-wrought performances don’t help; neither is particularly credible, likeable or believable, and therein the casting problem. Which takes us back to the overarching problem and those unavoidable words, writ so large.

At worst, By The Sea is self-indulgent claptrap. At best it’s, well, not much more than self-indulgent claptrap. Take your cue from Vanessa who complains at the outset: “It smells like fish.”

// COLIN FRASER

Previewed at Dendy Opera Quays, Sydney on 24 November 2015