Lurking in the moody palate and coiffeured grime of the Dark Ages are two impossibly beautiful lovers. Good lighting and a bold score ensures we understand that their fate, as dirty as it might become, is above the realm of the era. For Tristan and Isolde, love will hold pure. Director Kevin Reynolds (Waterworld) nor producers Tony and Ridley Scott are known for subtlety or truth; not when it gets in the way of a good shot. And this billowing, pretender epic is very long on good shots and rather short where truth and subtlety are concerned.

Tristan + Isolde is loosely based on the ancient, epic story of Celtic lovers – she was from across the water, he was a warrior’s son, their clans held different politics – whose love could never, truly be. Complicating the problem was a marriage of familial loyalty and dissention among the tribes of Briton: Tristan’s adopted father wants to be King, so does Isolde’s. All grist for a popcorn epic of some note.

Well, yes and no. Handsome production and equally handsome leads are easy on the eye, and Reynolds certainly knows how to make a camera cling to the strongest visual elements. However he’s saddled with an over-familiar narrative, Anne Dudley’s intrusive score and ripe dialogue from scriptwriter Dean Georgaris (Paycheck), although he does earn extra points for an unhappy ending. But what else could a romantic-tragedy be? Tristan + Isolde offers nothing more than you’d expect from this competent if uninspired mud and crossbow drama; the cinematic equivalent of an airport novel.

// COLIN FRASER