The Transporter was called the ‘worst movie Jean Claude Van Damme never made”. Frank (Jason Statham) was a delivery boy for hire – no job too dangerous. Although a critical dog, it made such a name for itself on DVD that writer/producer Luc Besson saw a franchise in the making. Dumping the hapless Corey Yuen, directorial duty was given over to fellow countryman Louis Leterrier. It’s a good match since he earned his stripes in the recent and similarly violent action pic Unleashed. Even suspending disbelief above and beyond the call of duty, Transporter 2 is still utterly preposterous. Former Olympian Statham is back as Frank, inexplicably driving a politician’s son to school. Then Lola, a stiletto wearing, twin-carb. psycho-bitch comes killing. She’s after the boy for a hit man whose interests lie further up the food chain. Can Frank make good on his promise to protect him?

Sure there are plot holes deep enough to hide Frank’s bullet-proof ride, sure he’s an a-moral killer who seems to bounce when thrown off sixty story buildings, sure it makes less sense than Bond in the 70’s (to which there’s a passing nod) but if you can hold back from asking too many questions, there’s something quite enjoyable about this gratuitous John Woo knock-off. As with Unleashed, Leterrier finds the bullseye early and keeps pace with his noisy, handsome, bone-crunching production. From the opening scene in a soaking wet (undercover) car-park, it’s clear this won’t make much sense, but Transporter 2 is not meant to. Nor will the target audience of over-caffeinated male teenagers care. Just as long as Frank keeps kicking arse better than Van Damme ever did.

// COLIN FRASER