Barbara is the teacher we all despised; a battle-axe spinster who rules with a cynical fist. Institutionalised in public schooling, the lonely old woman makes merry by terrorising both students and colleagues alike. When willowy Sheba arrives at school, Barbara notes in her diary that the woman is a ‘merry flag on the arctic of my calendar’. Her annotations narrate the film as she comments acidly on the lives and loves of those around her. ‘People have always trusted me with their secrets’, she writes, ‘but who do I trust with mine?’

Screen-writer Patrick Marber’s scathing thriller pulses with the venomous tirade of a spiteful hag. Yet the prospect of friendship softens Barbara until she unearths a secret: her new best friend has given in to the seductive approach of a fifteen year old student. “You’re well fit Miss”. “And gosh, don’t I just know it,” she responds. About now, Marber unleashes his big guns as Barbara makes a land-grab on Sheba, vowing to keep knowledge of the misadventure to herself. But hell hath no fury like a lesbian scorned, as Sheba and her family soon discover.

Notes On A Scandal is a frightening assault on class value, artistic snobbery and ageism that questions inverted morality. Is Sheba simply a paedophile who deserves what she gets? Marber is stunning, Blanchett luminous yet all eyes are rigid on Dench. Her effortless performance as a calculating, poisonous bitch sparkles with understated brilliance. Notes On A Scandal: And Why You Shouldn’t Keep A Diary is as good as a thriller gets.

// COLIN FRASER