Connie (Nia Vardalos) and Carla (Toni Collette) perform dinner theatre, badly. So bad in fact that their best gig is in the departure lounge of a local airport. When they witness the murder of their boss and the murderer wants the girls dead, they leave town to hide in a place “without culture, without dinner theatre”. West Hollywood in fact. By chance, they end up in a drag bar that’s auditioning a new act and seize their chance. As girls pretending to be boys pretending to be girls, Connie and Carla are an instant hit. Victoria/Victor if you will although this film has more in common with a poor episode of I Love Lucy or Vardalos’ own short-lived TV series. Veteran TV director Michael Lembick (The Santa Clause 2) slaps it together with as much finesse as the drag queens he celebrates, whose infrequent humour is loud and irritating, their sentimentality mawkish.

The script was written by Vardalos who serves in dual roles as actor and screenwriter. Efforts to touch on universal themes of brotherhood involving a straight David Duchovney (he and Connie fall in love) are particularly contrived. More social realism can be found in a single episode of Queer As Folk than will be found here. The performance numbers (sung by Collette and Vardalos) are sprightly and periodically lift the film, even if they have more in common with Muriel’s Wedding (no ABBA, fortunately) than say, Chicago. No doubt Connie And Carla will find its own audience, but as any definition of cine-drag, Priscilla it aint.

// COLIN FRASER