“This is not a crass attempt to market nostalgia,” assures a producer of the new TV series Bewitched! He’s trying to revive the old series while pulling the career of Jack Wyatt (Will Ferrell) out of free-fall. Who’s kidding who? That’s exactly what this is, a stale leftover of a tired genre that has known mixed results at best. Wyatt casts an unknown to improve his chances but fails to realise that the actress (Nicole Kidman) playing Samantha (a witch who wants to be normal) is herself a witch who wants to be normal! It’s a cute idea, but once set-up Bewitched! collapses under the weight of its own premise. Bedevilled by a lame script co-written by the Ephron sisters who collaborated on You’ve Got Mail, it’s then saddled with Nora Ephron’s pedestrian direction, a notable lack of humour and Michael Caine’s gender confusion (he assures his daughter that he is a witch). A small point perhaps, but a clear indication of the trouble this film is in. Camping it up as Endora, Shirley McLaine is the only person who appears to be having fun. Certainly Kidman isn’t – set adrift in front of the camera, she’s unable to find voice or the required grit to shift her character. Instead we get a sappy Marilyn Monroe wannabe. Ferrell manages to squeeze out a few laughs, mostly when blaming his character for low test scores. “No one likes Darren! They changed him and nobody even noticed!” But his efforts are not enough to disguise what is simply a crass attempt to market nostalgia. Bewitched? Not likely. // COLIN FRASER